How do you confuse a blonde? Hit her over the head with a baseball bat until she has concussion

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eat a hot dog

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

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Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A joke that isn't funny.

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and is not intelligent enough to know that he is about to be hit by a bus while hopelessly searching for food under an elderly man's nose.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

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Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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What kind of martial arts does the Jewish man practice? Kung-Fu

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I walk into a bar...

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how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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What did the little boy ask for for Christmas? A new brain, as he has a malignant tumor, he died.

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops