Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

don't just stand there

What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

yo mama so fat she had to eat healthy food and exercise daily

Tim: You wanna hear an anti-joke? Billy: Yes! Tim: Okay, I've got one for you Billy: Let's hear it! Tim: 1

My girlfriend said she doesn't like anti jokes and now i'm single ha ha just kidding.... she's dead

What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

HA HA HA HA HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA - Bomber

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, as speaking to himself is a sign of mental illness.

What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

i used to take arrows to the knee,til i took one to the balls.

A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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