Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

What ended in the year 1970? 1969

Face...tastes like chicken!

How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

What's the difference between 15 dead babies and a cadilac? I don't have a cadilac.

What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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