Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Q:Whats rhe best part about spinning a baby round and round Stopping it with a shovel

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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G

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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