Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

They see me trollin' They hatin'...

Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

roy g biv

How did the boy compliment the girl? He told her she had a lot of breasts. In return, she told him he had many penises.

Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

There once was a man from Nantucket.

what would u di if u were having anal sex with a black guy and his dick was soooo bi that ir rippped ur asshole? staple it back together

Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

Obama ran for re-election in 2012. He lost because he is a horrible president. the liberal left blame his defeat on racists and propose harsh Hate-Crime punishments. America falls into disrepair.

Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

A man and a women are having sex. He farted so she left before he came.

What is cowboy say

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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