How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

Why did the cook put rubber bands in the spaghetti Because he was an asshole

Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

Why did you step on my watermelon?

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally Why can't Sally finish her ice cream She has no arms How do you fit Sally into a box? Put her in a blender. How do you get her out? A straw.

2 beavers enter a bar, destroy all the stool legs, and leave.

whats worse than finding a worm in apple? being chased by retards

Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

What do you get if you cross an angle with an antelope? An anglelope.

Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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