How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Knock knock Whos there You spelt who's incorrectly You spelt whos incorrectly who ...................

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You know what helps with back pain? If you lick my butt hole.

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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Why did the person write an antijoke? To get to the other side

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Why did the black man leave the bar? Someone shot his girlfriend.

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what do you call 4 black people pushing a car uphill? unfortunate

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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Why didn't the boy blow out his birthday cake this year? He died last year.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

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A Black guy and a Mexican guy walk into the bar. The bar tender offers to buy them a round of drinks because he can tell they had a hard day at the office.

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What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

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Hey, do you want to play the rape game ? NO! That's the spirit

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I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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