A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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Eating food: Ugh disgusting! Taking a dump later: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Man, you are doing it wrong... Waterworld was a pretty dry movie, I mean when are they gonna start making movies with a bit of wet humor for a change? SERIOUSLY BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I AM NOT SERIOUS!

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What is a quicker way to transfer money than electronic banking? Keeping it on one's person and getting mugged for it, or else handing it over in a mutual deal.

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Wanna see me count to ten? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

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What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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Your life

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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how do you finish a 30000 piece puzzle you search for cheat codes

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8===D

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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Buy a SHOTGUN!!!!

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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rawrrrrrrrrrrr

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Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

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What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

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guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

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Women's rights.

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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