Turn your Caps Lock off, people think you're yelling at them, Stephen Hawking.

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A few people were put in a room with 5 doors and 4 were a certain death one was freedom and they had to choose a door to go in not knowing which was freedom the first person went in the door on the far left. He got raped by Michael Jackson. The second guy opened the door on the far right. He got in a room entirely made of ice cream. He ate all of it and got such a brain freeze his brain froze. The third and final guy turned around and noticed a door labeled exit. He exited the room and continued his life as a normal person

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust Whats worse that the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

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whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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Where did the duck hide its pail? UNDER THE STAIRS!!

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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Guess who is violent. Osama

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So, a boy walks into a baker's shop and asks for a loaf of bread. The man says "do you want white or brown?" The boy says "oh, I don't mind, I've got my bike outside."

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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What do you get when you post the same thing a million times? Hate

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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a man walks into a bad part of town he is shot 13 times and dies.

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what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it~? lots of things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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