"Jim would you like to share what you've written?" says rehab counselor "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Heroin is bad, I see sound."

Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

a man walks in to a night club he can not danse so he just wachis pepol

Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

What's big fat and hairy? Peter

A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a penis

Why did you cross the road. You didn't your looking at this joke

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

Care to fill in some of the etc etc`s for me? Its not like we are complete strangers one to another either, you and I I mean, I feel pretty secure around you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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