Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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What do you call a black person who can't see? Blind

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Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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why did the 11 year old boy stick his hand in a lawnmower nobody knows he hasnt come out of the coma yet

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What happens to the yellow hat when it is thrown into the red sea? It get's wet.

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Why was the boy walking in circles? One of his feet was nailed to the floor...

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If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

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Q: Why don't black people like My Chemical Romance? A: Actually, some of them do.

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* How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? * He just need to go to the Register Office and change his name to "a man"

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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which one is easiest

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Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

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A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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