roses are black your mamas white i didnt mean to say it but it's right

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

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poop.

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What did the black guy say to the Jewish guy when it began to rain? It's raining.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

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What's the difference between a black girl and a white girl? Nipple color

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Fishing rods are cool This haiku does not make sense Lumpy Space Princess

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An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

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Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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