Why did the blind man fail his math test? Because he had been raped and murdered. Going blind is a side effect of death.

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Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

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Friend: Do you want to go to the bar or see a movie first? Me: Yes.

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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If life hands you lemons, take them they taste good

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What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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#Getweird

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Where is Tampa Bay, Florida?

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Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my legs Doctor: It's because you're blind son

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Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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a dog walks into a bar....it sees the horse and starts barking which ever dentally startles and confuses the horse resulting in tables and chairs being knocked over .

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first

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A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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