Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

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Where is Tampa Bay, Florida?

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my legs Doctor: It's because you're blind son

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Friend: Do you want to go to the bar or see a movie first? Me: Yes.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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If life hands you lemons, take them they taste good

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Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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#Getweird

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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Can anyone Lenin money?

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Helena: Can u get me a pencil? Me: Sure. Me: Mr. Brandmeyer can u give me a pencil? Mr. Brandmeyer: Why? Me: I don't know. That's what Helena said.

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Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

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Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

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So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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