Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

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what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

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you...

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

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Q: What's worse than spilling milk all over the floor? A: Cleaning up the milk you spilled all over the floor.

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

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What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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Why was Edgar sad at the swimming pool? Edgar had been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks, on a tuesday-thursday basis, and was not learning how to swim as well as he would have liked. His instructer, Ms. Herpina was also very rude and generally disrespectful to Edgar. As a result of him seeing the lack of progress, and his dislike of his teacher, one day he quit going to his lessons and went to the local Dairy Queen instead with his girlfriend, Susie. Little did he know, his mother had also gone out to buy him DairyQueen, as a celebration to him becoming better at swimming. When she saw him at Dairy Queen, she was very angry at her son, who had lied to her about going to that days' lesson, and had also lied to her about not having a girlfriend. After his mom told his girlfriend that they couldn't date, she took a distraught Edgar to their small apartment. Edgar had always hated this apartment, ever since the first day they moved in as a result from the lack of money to afford a nicer area. After his older brother David stole all that money from his mother to buy drugs a few years back, his life hasn't been the same. His mother was forced to move into an apartment with few luxories, and Edgar was constantly jealous of his friends at school, especially Jason, the dark haired boy who always bragged about how good he was at his PSP games. Edgar only wanted happiness for at least a little while, but was quickly forced back to the pool. He was embarassed at the fact that he couldn't swim, and all the popular girls at the pool were making fun of him. It had been a rough life for Edgar, and he was still only seven years of age. This, my child, is why Edgar was sad at the swimming pool.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops