Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

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I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

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Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

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Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

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What do u call a ginger man with no ears? What ever the hell u want Because he's deaf

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroy his family and career.

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What's black and white and red all over? The Nazi Flag in WW II

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I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

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roses are red violets are blue they are pretty and you are not

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What's big, moves around everywhere, and has four wheels? four TEENS on four wheelers

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Where's Wally? In a children's book.

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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Want a fight? You Spelt F**K wrong O.o

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A: Depends on the size of the tub and the size of the babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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