What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do u call a Mexican on the moon? An astronaut. What do u call all the Mexicans on the moon? Problem solved!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

[] [] Those are eyes These are teeth

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you cross Skyrim and Call of Duty? A video game that has similarities to Skyrim and Call of Duty.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock who's there aids aids who ... dumb ass

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Tim: Hey Jennifer, do you wanna hear a joke? Jennifer: Okay Tim: Knock knock Jennifer: Who's there Tim: It's me Tim, you idiot

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

thumb_up thumb_down +13

the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

thumb_up thumb_down +13

if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops