A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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What did the virgin say to the car salesmen? Hello, I'm really interested in buying a car today.

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A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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This is not a joke

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How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

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God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

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How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

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why did'n the baby wake up from his nap? because he was dead

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A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, There are so many different endings to this, it makes me just wanna Shoot Myself!

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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Q: What do you call a person up to their elbows in a horse's ass? A: An Amish auto mechanic. (this gem brought to you by Designated Dale)

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon

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10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Jonny Cash. Now we have?

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Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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I found someone on the ground who wasn't breathing and had no pulse.They must have been in a damn deep sleep.

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what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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haha Otarts was here

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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