How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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