- Anti Joke

So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

Your mom's so dumb she has cancer...... oh wait that's racist

A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

Whats worse then hell? The guy who commited suicide would know.

in china a dog was being cooked on the grill he was seasoned ans eaten by a black man

A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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