Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

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So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

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How much is that doggy in the window? It's not for sale....it's waiting to be euthanized.

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

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http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

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Ask me If I am an orange? Are you and Orange? No

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What do you do when life throws lemons at you? Take out your lemon shield and retreat deep into your lemon proof bunker.

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A student exclaimed "This test is a piece of cake!" He ate it.

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Can you help jack Off. The elephant?

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Q: what did the black man say after the white man said knock knock A: who's there

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what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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STFU Stop Tickling Fuzzy Unicorns they really don't like it

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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Hey, dude, wanna hear a joke? Sure... Pussy. ...I dont get it... Exactly! HAHAHAHAHAHA

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Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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