why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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High enough to know that fucking IQ is a terrible way to measure the total potential of the mind, which is potentially limitless depending on the person`s contact and control over the subconscious state.

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the horse walks into the bar the bartender calls the pet control

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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Have you read Shakespeare? Dunno. Who wrote it? Shakespeare.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue whilst you reading this I just raped you

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

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What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? I don't know. The woodchuck won't chuck wood.

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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whats sad about 4 black guy drivein off a cliff in a cadalic a wast of good cadalic

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whats the difference between a white jew and a black jew the black jew is treated poorly and is sent to the back of the gas chamber

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A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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