sorry son your nanas been put down

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

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WHAT DO U CALL GINGERS GABRIELLA

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An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

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A white guy, spanish guy, and a black guy jump off a roof. They were all killed on impact and their families will mourn their loss for years to come.

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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What/s funnier than 24 dead Jews? 25 dead Jews. What/s funnier than 25 dead Jews? 6 million dead Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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2 + 2 = fish

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Neil Lewis

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What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

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Q: What do yoiuo call an Italian butler? A: Vinny

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Honk if you're Amish!

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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