Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

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What do you get when you stab a man in the leg with a knife? A court summons because you have committed a horrible crime

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an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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A black guy walks into a bar. Suddenly, the bar goes quite, the music turns off and everybody stares. It was a gay bar and the man was very good looking.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

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What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

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KENNAH CAMPIONS LAUGH

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Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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A blind Man walks into a Bar. A young man quickly runs over to him and helps him up.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

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How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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