- Anti Joke

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

dyslexics of the world untie!

Reading the Terms and Conditions

Julian Ha.

What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

What did the ocean say to the other ocean????? What Nothing they just waved ???? Oh Do you sea what I did there ???? No I'm shore you did ???? By Erin

There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

I Raped And Killed A Little Girl Called Zoe. It All Started When I Raped A Girl In Her School, I Always Waited Outside Of Her School in my white van, one day the girl I raped before Zoe confronted me in my white van, I asked her if she wanted to see my puppies in the back of the van, she said yes, I locked her in there, I kidnapped her. The next day that girl Mysteriously Died. Iwonder how? Tee hee hee... The next day Zoe came up to my van, She also said yes about the puppies too! I kidnapped her and raped her. The next day I was rushed to hospital, I was revealed by the doctor I Had Been Diagnosed With HIV, I knew it was from her because she is the only girl I'd raped, So I walked home. When I Was Walking Home, I Was Thinking About How Angry I Was With That Lil' Bitch; I Was Thinking of ways to kill her, when I got home I heard her listen to; Bang Bang~ By Ariana Grande, Nikki Minaj And Jessie J. That Got Me thinking, Ah, that's how I am going to kill her. So I opened my cage and Got my gun out; I killed her. Blood Was Dripping Down from her head, I Grabbed the corpse and put It in my basement, after that I started licking her fanny, Drinking Her pussy juice. Then I drained all of her Blood out of her body and bottled it. After all the draining I had 600,000 Bottles. I Drunk one of them. and may I just say: it was delicious! After that, I went online and sold all the bottles to I.Am.A.Vampire.Com For £1million Pounds!! Man is now mega rich and I brought a slut and fucked her. I Now lift a fucking amazing life because of a vulnerable, Dumb Ass girl called Zoe. Thank you!!!!!

men

Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

Gawds Trololols: Jewsus: I die for ur Sins, now u are free! argh Gawd AD 3000: TIME TO DIE SINNERS! Jewsus: But I paid for humanity`s sins and am stuck in hell because of this and... Gawd: Meh just didnt really liek you TROLOLOL! Gawds Trololols 2 directors clit: Gawd: Jebus! (the third) I want you to trololol peeps now! GO! Jebus: As you see people, I have died for you in order to prove that I am immortal! Peeps: Uh, wow? Jebus: TROLOLOL! So dad, when am I gonna get back to earth again, I kinda promised my boyfriends/apostles that there would be a second cumming as you told me to do, and people have been waiting for over twothousand and fourtee... Gawd: Never! Trolololol! Moral: "Would you trust a being whose veins are loaded with alcohol?" Jesus 2: The second coming: In cincemas never!

What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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