A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

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#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

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Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

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What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? When your apples a human

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Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

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why did the boy die he had a raging case of cardiovascular disease

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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What's brown and smells like shit? Brown colour. I'm synesthetic.

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What if I told you.....potatoe

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Q: What does a gay horse eat? A: Cheese

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What do you get if you cross a human and a cow? Arrested.

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the redsox

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Why did Suzy cross the road? She didn't she got hit by a bus. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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A piece of shit gets flushed down the toilet. The end.

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Ask me if I'm God.. Dude, we all know you're not God.

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edmond alward. handyman services. call 0858430803.

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Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

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Q: When do u know when your sister is on her period? A: Your dads dick tastes funny.

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

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Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

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Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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