A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How did the black kid pass his exam? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

COME HERE, POTTER!!!! NOW!!! Instead of agreeing to approach the source of the rather hostile summoning, Potter decided to sit down and eat a healthy vegetarian lunch of sausages and chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What does it mean if your born on opposite day? you have sids

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Roses are RED , Violets are BLUE , once Valentines day is Over , All ya girls is gonna go back to LOVIN' THE CREW.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor and the doctor said "There is no cure for the monkeys in your head"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Roses are red Violets are actually purple You should probably see an eye doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Perhaps he didn't believe in banks.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's worse than HIV? AIDS -Bob Bobby

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How scoops of ice cream does a n*gger get? 0.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What do you call a black man with a club? Tiger woods.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Who has two thumbs and gets to go home tomorrow? Well, not your son. He's in a persistent vegetative state and we had to amputate both of his arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Whats worse then 10 black men hanging from trees? Kittens

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops