what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

Nina and Harry sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes divorce because their marriage didn't turn out right and Harry hit Nina in the head with a iron...

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing.

What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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