Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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Knock Knock Come in

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do u like chicken ? ....no good...cuz its for black people.

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how many toyota's does it take to pee on a soccer game 900 because isis is a cat vagina

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

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You know what a thief's kid receive on christmas? Your bike!

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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What is a poop on a poopstick? A pile of poop.

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So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

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When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

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A black guy, a Latino guy and an Asian guy all walk in a bar. What do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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roses are red leather is black when god made you he was smoking crack

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Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

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Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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