Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? They had a sale on dresses on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you get when you use heroin aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

aa

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Who would be an amazing GOP VP? Chris Christie -Mitt Romney

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What's worse than spilling milk all over the floor? A: Cleaning up the milk you spilled all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops