. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

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Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? Take a price of cloth and put it over his eyes

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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What did the P.E. coach say to the fat kid? you need to exercise

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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69

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

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Tucker Rivera

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Why was the Mexican in pain? Someone hit him with a frying pan 5 times across the face.

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ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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Prince of bell air with Keanu Reeves: SMIIIIIIIIIIITH! DID YOU DESTROY MY COUCH? Neo: ... WELL DID YOU BOTHER CARLTON DOING HIS STUFF? Neo... Will you shut up then? ... Intro: This, is my story, read the text, thank you.

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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What do you get when do you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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