Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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Just found out that it doesn't work.

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What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

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zx

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

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what do trees like to drink? r o o t b e a r

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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roses are red violets are blue pornhub is down ya mums facebook will do

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what did the judgmental teacher say to a challenged student? your stupid

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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why was the asian women such a bad driver? she was blind and had no arms

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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I like my women like I like my coffee, a brewed beverage prepared from the roasted seeds of an evergreen shrub of the genus Coffea.

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A man on a plane convened his stupid flyer that instead of who in knock-knock jokes it what were, he thought it would funny. Later it really paid off, as they fly very close over water he says "knock knock" "whose there" " Captain Neverlands" "Captain Neverlands wh-...were" "Captain Neverlands IN WATER YOU DUMMY!!!!"

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Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

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What the librarian say to the man? Hi, can I help you?

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Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

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Q. What's white and lives in a tree? A. A fridge.

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What do you call someone who kills a black person? A cop

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops