- Anti Joke

This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

Why did the chicken itch it's bum? Cause it's bum was itchy

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

Velcro. What a rip off.

what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

dude ur such a bon of a sitch

What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh yeah... You're mute.

Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

What did everyone call the ginger kid? Jimmy as that was his name...

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.