dead dibbs

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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emma: mat has a quick reaction time

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What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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how do you break up with your girlfriend? talk about their race.

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Dude, you're playing call of duty by yourself and in last place...HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!!??

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Wanna hear another joke? Wes Trillows penis!!!

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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Whats the saddest part about the sandy hook shooting? There were still bullets in the clip... Im going to hell by the way.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

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why do prostitutes do what they do? Because they have abusive fathers who always used them as sex slaves as children

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, And so is she.

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whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

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Only in your math books can Carlos buy 14 cantaloupes without hus sanity being questioned.

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why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

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Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

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Yo momma's so fat she got her own zip code! except she doesn't because zip codes are reserved for much larger areas than that of your mother.

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5... that's $10.

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Knock knock no answer, as the tenant of the house was out shopping.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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