Two women were sitting quietly.

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

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Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

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Why did the girl drown? She had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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What's worse than failing your midterms? Child abuse.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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What did the guy say to the campgrounds? It was in tents (get it like intense but it is a pun)

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Roses are Expensive. Violets are Gay. Poems are for pussies... Have a nice day!

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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Why did the guy die? He had a fatal heart attack.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Very few things are worse than this international tragedy Over six million people died, most of them tortured before they died. But stepping on a thumb tack is way up there

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Your mother is so fat that it became a problem affecting everyone close in her life. Her new year's resolution was to lose weight, and surprisingly, has become quite healthy since then.

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Timmy. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!!

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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I wrote a joke for 'Anti-Joke', I laughed, it was funny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

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Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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a man walks out of a gas station and sees an indian with his ear to the road. He walks up to him and the indian says "truck... ford truck... large man in front with flannel shirt and trucker cap... german sheperd in passenger seat... licence plate 4563u6." Amazed the other man says " wow, you can tell all of that just by listening to the road?" The indian says "no thats a the truck that ran over me five minuites ago"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops