Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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Okay I have knock knock joke but u have to start it. Okay Knock knock Who's there (akward silence)

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what do you call a black man who beats his wife, doesnt have a job and has a ton of kids? whatever his name is.

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What do you call two grown Mexican men playing tennis? Two adults showcasing their talent in a friendly game of tennis.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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Sarah Jessica Parker

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

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I shot a bitch.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

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Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

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Urban ghettos

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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Roses are der Violets are eulb I am dyslexic

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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