What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

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What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

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Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

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What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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