Get on the boat.

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Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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Why did little jimmy fall off the building? 9/11

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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What was Dillon's old name? Dillon, I lied about the old name part.

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

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whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

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A black guy walks into a bar. He drinks some wine and exits the bar. -Lets Go Mets, not Yankees

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Why did America nuke Japan? Because Japan bombed Pearl Harbor.

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson. I spelled "red" wrong.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

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Why can't the Mexican float? He never learned the proper technique as he was not allowed to take swim class.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a hot tub. One polar bear asks the other to pass the soap. The other responds, "No soap, radio!"

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One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

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why couldn't the man open the window? he had no hands due to his time serving the USA in vietnam

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops