What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

1st person: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? 2nd person: I don't know 1st person: A Jew is a follower of the zionist faith and a pizza is a popular food invented in Italy and comes with your choice of several delicious toppings. 2nd person: But not all Jews follow zionism 1st person: Well some places restrict your choice of toppings. Whats your point?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

numbers just make the funniest antijokes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Sticks and stones may break my bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? None. While they were figuring out who to change the bulb the bulb lit a spark and the house caught fire. Everyone but one died. The black guy couldn't change the bulb because the bulb was lost in the fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do mexicans eat tacos? Because they're good

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: why did the boy fall down when he was walking home? A: he was murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the asian man go to the bar with a black man? Because they both wanted to enjoy a few beers in the company of another.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mother is so fat that her BMI is larger than average.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

the duck walked in the bar then he walded away

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A seven foot tall kindergartener walks into a bar. He is reduced to tears after being ridiculed for his inordinate height and unappealing physical appearance. A bartender then proceeds to escort him out of the bar for being underaged. -BG_Shank_A

thumb_up thumb_down +3

you mooma's like a bowling bowl i pick her up finger her throw her down the gutter and she still comes back for more

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the deer jump, because there was something in it's way

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops