Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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You're a frog

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Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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How do you blind an Asian? Rip out his eyeballs.

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died from chlamydia.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests Testicals

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When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped six's mom.

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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Your future.

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25

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Why was the black man driving a plane? because he was a pilot, you racist.

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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What's black and white and red all over? The color spectrum. Along with other colors.

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yo mamma so fat when she seen a stop sigh she ate it

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what to call someone thats gay zak

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Whats funny about a fat person dying? He died while eating friend chicken

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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