so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

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What are the similarities between aaron ash and a cow? they both have 7 stomachs.

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Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

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What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

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whats worst then dieng in a videogame

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

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Racial Equality

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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