What do you call your mom? Mom

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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Why do so many people troll on the internet? Because Hitler was awesome!

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Bruce Forsith's energy and charisma.

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what happened when glen haire jumped of a high building? he died.

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womens rights

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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How do u kill somebody You throw a fridge at him

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He simply lost grip of the cone and it fell out of his hand

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What's worse than failing your midterms? Child abuse.

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You have friends

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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Face...the other white meat!

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Who's blind but can see, deaf but can hear, and dumb yet can solve the most complex mathematical equations? Helen Keller-Norris

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Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

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What's worse then 2 dead monkeys? 3 dead monkeys!

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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knock knock whose there cash! cash who i don't want any but i'd like some peanuts

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Grim Reaper. The Grim Reaper who? Joking with me will not postpone your death.

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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