Ring ring yes.This is doctor steve and we got our test results and it seems that you'r son has butinites and you'r kind sytoms are nothing because he is just an ass.

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You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

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Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms or legs.

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A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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Strength of body Vs Strengh of Mind. Mind: You can lead a horse to water... Strength: Then you can force that mother*bleep* to drink all you want that *bleep* to drink! Strength of body wins, horseless victory.

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Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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why did the man paint his house? cause he never wanted to mow the lawn

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. What do flowers have to do with this joke I want to tell you?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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Happy Birthday!! Have some meth cupcakes.

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What did the pitcher say to the batter who hit the ball very far? Wow, you hit that ball very far.

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Go away nothing to see here,. I said go away

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What's worse than failing your midterms? Child abuse.

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Yo mama so fat when she looked at the scale it said to be continued

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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