Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

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what happened when the sports mascot ate a bean and cheese burrito? he shat inside his costume and got fired.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

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I can count to potato.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

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How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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Why do black men like bit butts? Because they can not lie.

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Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

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A: Hi I am a Mormon B: I know I'm one of your wifes

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Why couldn't the man open his car door for the women? He drove a jeep with removable doors

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flavin's head

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kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

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a blind man walks off a cliff..... he's dead now.

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What's black, white and red all over? A cow after slaughter.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wristwatch! Wristwatch who? Orange ya glad I didn't say banana

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Gandalf and Dumbledore had a son, her name wasn't.

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What do you call an argument between a Jew and a German? World War 2

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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