How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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Why was the house painted pink? I dont know, why don't you ask the owner?

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

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two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

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What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

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How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website? What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website? What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website?

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at the man for a moment, then asks : - Excuse me, sir. Are you blind ? And the blind man says : - Yes.

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What is your bill about? Clinton

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

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what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

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"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

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Knock Knock Who's There ........................ ........................................... I hate doorbell ditchers

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen Property.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Tucker Rivera

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"I know it. I can feel it in my nuggets." -Chicken Joe

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops