Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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roses are red violets are red everything is red who set my house on fire

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What's the difference between a boodle and a scoodle? Ladoodle!

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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what's wrong on so many levels? wrong wrong wrong wrong

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BOTTOM!!!

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Basically

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What happened to the soldier who go shot while fighting terrorists in the middle east? He died and had a proper funeral back in the town/city that he was born in.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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What's funnier then the holocaust? A second one.

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Decode this; Hetay owcay aidsay oomay. Answer: ummmmm.... Let me think....ummm, does anybody speak pig latin?

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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What does it mean when somebody is Jewish? They eat palahuardo por sinquevos for breakfast. Qua.

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Skrillex.

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why is six afraid of seven? because six is a rapist

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Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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