Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What did the butler say to the guest while his master is in the bathroom? Butler: "Sir, will you wait while the Master bathes?" Guest: "How long will he be, I'm quite busy!" Butler: "He shouldn't be long sir, he should be finishing up now."

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

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what is juicy and smells like juice,but it is not juice? juice. i lied about it not being juice.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas ....... An ashtray

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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How many republicans does it take to raise the debt ceiling? Technically, none, as the president has the right to do this based on the 14th amendment.

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david weres the slug gone

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What do you call a Mexican in a suit? Another Drug lord What do you call a black guy in a suit? Guilty. What do you call a white guy in a suit? The black guys lawyer What do you call a woman in a suit? You don't call her anything as you wonder why she isnt in the kitchen. What do you call a women outside a kitchen? Useless. -Jordan.M

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Steve Mullings isn't on drugs

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he’d rather be road kill, than be in the KFC right across the street,inside a kids meal,dead.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

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Why couldnt the car move? It got blown up by a tank.

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops