Why did the owl visit the hospital? His mom was dying of luekemia.

Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He Died Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He was stapled the the first koala

why did the chicken cross the street dude get your facts right it is the road ok well why did the chicken cross the street LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the priest fall onto the alter boy? Because he lost his balance

who do we all like george goodburn

Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

What is worst about the great white shark? It's hundreds of sharp teeth, strong tail, or subtle racism? Probably the teeth.

What is black and likely to fail? A chain smokers lungs.

How do you stop a black man from spitting? People of all races and colours are quite within their right to spit on their own property whenever they wish. However if anyone spits on or near you, you could report him to the police, but don't expect to be taken seriously.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Hitler and Jews become friends.

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

knock knock whose there? banana banana who? knock knock? whose there? banana knock knock? whose there? banana

Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you through them.

Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

What is the saddest thing in a porno? He doesn't really love her.

You say: Why did the chicken cross the road? Response: Why? (or some other answer to a different joke) You say: To get to your house! Knock, knock. Response: Who's there? You say: The CHICKEN!!!!

Knock, Knock Who's there? Knock, Knock Knock, Knock who? Knock, Knock

How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

Q: How can you tell when your selling a Blondel a microwave A: she will keep asking how many chandler the Tv gets

What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

How many napkins does it take to tack to the moon? Purple, snakes don't have elbows

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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