What did the boy do with his ice cream? He ate it.

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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poop

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You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

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What do you do when your archenemy walks up to you? Kill them due to their vulnerability, I mean they walked up to you...

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What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Ouch.

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What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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If an aeroplane falls from 15,000 feet in the air and crashes into and orphanage is it possible that no-one will get hurt? No,the aeroplane will destroy the orphange hurting the property value.

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Decode this; Hetay owcay aidsay oomay. Answer: ummmmm.... Let me think....ummm, does anybody speak pig latin?

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What happenend after the chicken tried to cross the road? a KFC opend

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

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A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to get intoxicated and then commits a felony.

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What do you call a black woman that flys a plane? - a pilot...

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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What can make you pee? Liquid

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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My next door neighbour found out yesterday that I am a serial killer. Knock Knock. [L]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops