Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

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What did the black man get his mom for Mother's Day? Some jewelry and a very nice card.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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What do you get when you eat a bag of potatoes? The're all gone.

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Q: What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in 6 trash cans.

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Jane asked her husband why he was crying, he replied "Because i have extremely agressive cancer" hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....Cancer

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What did the coney say to the hotdog? At least i kill people.

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baskets

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pee

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What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

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Yo mama so fat, i rolled over twice and i still on that bitch.

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kushagra tyagi

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What's the bright side of Jimmy only having one leg? There isn't one.

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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Philosoraptor, turds IM A SPAMBOTz B=Not really, just blind.

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gay people

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Latvia isn't a joke

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Womens' sports

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops