How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

being sober in a bar fight

HITLER IS SO SEXY I WOULD PAY A MILLION DOLLARS TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS DEAD HOT BODY WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT HIM I SPRAY MY SEMEN ALL OVER MY JEWISH SLAVES YUMMY HITLER JUST MAKES ME WANT TO BITE HIS ROTTING PENIS OFF AND FORCE IT IN THE EYE SOCKET OF A JEWISH PERSON AND THEN I CUM IN HIS EYESOCKET

I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

women's rights

do you wanna hear a joke school

Knock Knock! FUUCKKKK OFFFFFFFF

What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

whats the difference between a chicken and a rooster. a rooster has a dick

What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

Ask your friend: Will you remember me in a week? Will you remember me in a month? Will you remember me in a year? Knock Knock. Who's there? How did you forget me already?!?

why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

A black man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun! Then he returns it and leaves.

What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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