A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Of course, first door on your left

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a Jew A Jew

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

-how many potatoes are in a sack -5

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q. How did the blind man cross the road A. By an abmulance which took him to the hospital because his first attempt to cross was unsuccessful and the hospital was conventeintly located on the other side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops